No means Yes!

I know… that’s a provocative title.

The bottom line is NO means NO… AND …whenever you say NO to something, you are simultaneously saying YES to something else. In the context of sexual consent, saying NO to some form of sexual act is absolutely saying YES to something else; Yes to respect and integrity, Yes to personal boundaries and limits, Yes to clear communication, and possibly even Yes to exploring some other type of meaningful connection (or not!) 

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

When it comes to farming, there can be such a tendency to say yes to every new project and idea… no wonder we are overwhelmed! I get it; there are so many exciting projects, plus,  saying no to a potential opportunity can be scary.

The key is to realize that you’re always saying yes to something.

Rather than thinking “what do I need to say NO to?”, I invite you to shift to a more empowering question: “What am I actually you saying YES to in my life?”

Saying No to the urge to grow 20 varieties of tomatoes is saying Yes to being focused on the 5-10 varieties you really want to trial (and actually getting some meaningful trial data!) Saying No to that new farmer’s market (or to that CSA drop-off that’s been stagnating for years) is saying Yes to putting the needed marketing efforts into your other outlets. Saying No hosting a farm tour for the local agricultural college, is say Yes to spending the evening with your kids… you get the idea.

Your turn:

What are you willing to say YES to in 2020?


PS: If you’re interested in the world of consent work, here’s a very interesting blog post on the topic by Zahava Griss, whom I’ve gotten to know through the life-coach training academy we’re part of. This blog is written in a very specific context of sexual exploration… but don’t be put off by this. The principles behind these 8 questions are so useful in creating meaningful, conscious, and empowering connections of all natures (sensual or otherwise). Incidentally, these principles apply equally to you whether you’re meeting someone new at a play party, OR, whether you’re talking with your spouse of 20 years (of course, certain of the specific questions are more or less applicable, but the principle of clear and open communication on these sometimes sensitive topics is 100% applicable.) Try it out… You may be amazed at what you learn about yourself and your partner in the process!!

I hesitated to share this link as it feels a little vulnerable to do so. I decided to share this because I think that consent is such an important topic in the post-Me-Too era. 

Wouldn’t it be amazing to live in a world where everyone was conscious and empowered, knew about these important conversations, and respected each other!? 

Power to the people!!

Focusing our time with intention: Urgent vs Important.

Have you ever had the experience of being busy without ever really getting anything significant done?  Me too! You are not alone. This is a very common experience when we are called to accomplish something meaningful in our lives.

Enter ‘Urgent vs Important’ ! (Tadah!!) This distinction has played such a role in helping me to act in a way that is consistent with my visions and goals… and so, I hereby dedicate a post entirely to this concept.

Some things are urgent… as in they are very time sensitive and demand to be done right away.

Somethings are important… as in these are actions that have a large impact in terms of moving you forward towards some goal or vision.

Combine these two concepts and you get the following matrix.

The key to living a more productive, fulfilling life is to shift more and more of our time into quadrant 2 (Important but not Urgent). In doing so, we are able to use our time in an increasingly intentional manner.

How of your time are you dedicating to each of these quadrants?

What would it be like to know you are focusing your time effectively on taking important actions that have the greatest return in terms of achieving your goals and dreams?

May the force be with you!


PS: Many thanks to the late Stephen Covey for introducing me to this idea via his fantastic book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. Absolutely a must read!!